In the summer of 2023, I wrote about the runway of research and preparation for my mom’s transition to assisted living. Now feels like a good time to share a status update for anyone who might be contemplating a similar move for themselves or for a loved one.
Much of the hard part is complete. Selling Mom’s condo and downsizing was daunting, but we got through it with help from a move consultant experienced with elder transitions. This service was suggested by our elder care manager and was absolutely worthwhile.
I got a floor plan of Mom’s assisted living unit, and together with the consultant, we were able to figure out what furnishings would fit best. Then Mom chose familiar and comfortable options, as well as cherished mementos. Fortunately, we found some local charitable organizations to give our excess furniture, kitchen items, and clothing new life.
On moving day, the consultant’s team helped set up her unit, hung pictures, made the bed, and unpacked her clothes. While the staff welcomed Mom, I managed the tech setup, confirmed her apartment insurance, and handled other logistics.
Those first few nights were challenging for both of us. She needed to get accustomed to several new routines, a new layout, different light switches, a new TV provider, and people entering her space. It was reassuring for me to know that the assisted living staff checked on each resident in the evening and morning.
Nearly two years later…
What is good for mom?
She has embraced making new friends and thrives in the companionship of many residents and staff members. Mom attends group exercise classes several days a week and is proud of the hard work she’s put in to improve her mobility and stay active. She’s also had on-site physical therapy, which was easy to schedule. She enjoys lectures, musical events, and movies in her community. An avid reader, she takes advantage of the two libraries. One of her favorite activities is spending time with regular visitors from a local church.
Mom likes to host her granddaughters for meals in the dining room and looks forward to an outing with me each week. These car rides give us a chance to catch up and keep her connected to people and places outside of her complex.
What is good for me as her main caregiver?
I love knowing the staff cares about resident safety. If there’s an emergency, she is a button press away from help and on-site medical attention. The facility offers pharmacy services, and this has saved me the time and hassle of running around for maintenance and urgent prescriptions. My family can visit anytime, and we are welcome to join for special events, picnics, and other activities.
I am grateful that Mom’s nutrition is better, and she’s encouraged to exercise often. Over time, we transitioned her primary health care and periodic rehab care to the professionals who visit the assisted living facility regularly. This has freed me up to take her for more fun outings and allowed for more coordinated health care.
It’s reassuring when Mom says, “I like my home,”. It affirms that my mind and heart were united in finding the right place for her. Now, we both understand that together with the support of her onsite caregivers, we can handle any situation. Learning to accept that help has been beneficial for both of us and significantly reduced my worries.
What are some of the challenges?
Of course, no living situation is without its hiccups. When a beloved staff person moves on to another opportunity, it takes a bit of time to adjust to someone new. And it’s hard when a resident in the community passes away. Occasionally a resident is unkind or makes a thoughtless remark, and this can be hurtful. Mom mentions these things to me, but I have found she is fairly resilient. I’m sure her age and a lifetime of teaching helps.
Mom and I are happy with her assisted living care arrangement. Our journey to get here involved some smooth roads and a bit of hilly terrain. Even so, I’m thankful every day that she’s nearby, in a safe environment that feels like home to her, with friends and caregivers she enjoys.
If you’re considering your own care options, give serious thought to whether a similar setting could work for you and your loved one. You can read more about the research and decision-making process in my original article.
Photo courtesy of Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels